Question:
December 8: 6:00 PM. It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses Print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!
December 9: We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the Whole World? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had. Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snow plow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got
to shovel again. What a perfect life.
December 12: The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry, we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again, don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man. I'm glad he's our neighbor.
December 14: Snow, lovely snow! 8" last night. The temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much
shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff so.
December 15: 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.
December 16: Ice storm this morning. Fell on my *** on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.
December 17: Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm.
Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. God I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own livingroom.
December 20: Electricity's back on, but had another 14" of the damn stuff last night. More shoveling. Took all day. Dang snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.
December 22: Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white stuff fell today, and it's so cold it probably won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to *. By the time I got undressed, pee'd and dressed again. I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his car for the rest of the winter; but he says he's too busy. I think the jerk is lying.
December 23: Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she...nuts??? Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did but I think she's damn well lying.
December 24: 6". Snow packed so hard by snowplow, l broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the S.O.B. who drives that snowplow, I'll drag him through the snow by his balls. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was busy watching for the damn snowplow.
December 25: Merry Christmas. 20 more inches of the !=3D@x@!x!x1 slop tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my
shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's an idiot. If I have to watch "It's
a Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to kill her.
December 26: Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It was all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.
December 27: Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze.
December 28: Warmed up to above -50. Still snowed in. THE WITCH is driving me crazy!!!
December 29: 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave-in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?
December 30: Roof caved in. The snow plow driver is suing me for a million dollars for the bump on his head. The wife went home to her mother. 9"
predicted.
December 31: Set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling.
January 8: I feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me.
Why am I tied to the bed?ê

Answer:

Hoss, I got a buddy who lives up there in MinnieSoda and I talk to him all the time. Like you, he is tired of the snow right now. He also needs to be tied up but he won't allow it and he is to big for any of his buddies to try. Merry Christmas.
AY TE WACHO

Answer:

Best part? is Winter is just getting wound up.

Answer:

So far the best thing about this godforsakenstate is the SNOW!!!! Bring it on, I want more. Maybe then I can start dodging those dang utility poles. Ouch!that's gonna leave a Mark.
Freckles: Looking for a doctor.

Answer:

RAOTFLMAO
Hey it was so cold in WI the otherday and I had to unload insulation outside at one store and then I used my brain....
I told the guy at Home Depot..."I thought you guys were supposed to be smarter than them pepole from MN?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well when it's this cold over in MN they unload us at the dock."
Not to be done by a Viking the Packer says:
"Well we are, back that in dock number 2!"
Funny how things work when you ise a little Rebel ingenuity (sp) and a rivilary.
PK
I have miles to run and appointments to keep before I can lay me down to sleep!!!
No man shall be barred from the use of firearms. Thomas Jefferson
If you want to live in peace, prepare for war!

Answer:

Gosh.. what's up with this?? ?? Just before I made my smart move from Lakeville over to the NW, everyone was still damn near sunbathing in the front lawn last Dec.. hmm, weren't we reaching 40's, 50's back then too?

Answer:

Last year must have been a fluke! Since Lakeville is practically in my back yard, I know what ya mean.
Now it is so cold the snowflakes want to come inside to warm up!

Answer:

Reasons to hate Minnesota:
1. Snow;
2. Bitter Cold;
3. -40 wind chill factors;
4. 6 month long winters;
5. 6 month long construction season;
6. Mosquitos;
7. Walter Mondale is from here;
8. Hubert Humphrey III is from here;
9. Jesse Ventura a.k.a. James Janos is from here;
10. High taxes.
Reasons to love Minnesota:
1. Great ice fishing;
2. Norwegians (Yah sure ya betcha);
3. Jessica Lange is from here;
4. Hot Dishes (known everywhere else a casseroles);
5. 4th of July Weekend;
6. The change of seasons;
7. Skiing on the slopes overlooking Lake Superior;
8. Lake of the Woods;
9. The North Shore of Lake Superior;
10. Clean Living.

Answer:

My other half is working in Minneapolis until the end of January. He's really not liking Minnesota. Being from Texas, he's not used to all of that extended bone-chilling weather. He was glad to get home for a few days at Christmas to thaw out. He's counting the days on the calendar until he can leave. He had driven up there in the car in the spring and summer and really thought it was pretty but I think he's forgotten about that!
Ya'll stay warm.

Answer:

Dat der is whacha ya call 10 monts 'a winder an two monts of bad sleddin!
It takes a Yooper, Cheddarhead or Minnesotan to recognize a Finnlander!

Answer:

Hey Hoss, I only live in Jersey, but now I know why I usually don't go home in the winter. I hate the COLD!!!!!!
I feel real COLD just reading your story.
AAAAA, Mama, are there any houses for sell down there in Miami?????