Question:
It was reported that a school in an upscale neighborhood called in the mothers of several (10-20) teenagers in the 7th and 8th grades to an at risk problem they were experiencing with the children. There only 2-3 boys involved.
When quizzed, the person said that it was about these young girls being involved with oral sex. It seems that this is becoming a new craze for safe sex in our schools. Not only does it avoid the issue of pregnancy, but it equally avoids the issue of the diseases that can be associated with sex in the open society.
These were A and B students who sung in the chorus, were student leaders, great atheletes, and involved in student government. They were involved with this activity at partys and in the parks and there was a spring party coming up that all would be there.
What do you think about where this is going ... your comments.
Bob CRyder Hataway
CP

Answer:

This doesn't avoid the issue of STD(sexually transmited diseases). STD are easily transmitted orally. This doesn't avoid the moral aspect of premarital sex.
My ex-husband told me how the women of the moslem religion literally remained virgins when they married. (Hymen still intact)They had oral and anal sex to keep their hymen intact. That is not my idea of remaining chaste.
When I was a teenager, approximately 20 years ago, the pressure to have premarital sex was as strong as it is today. The fear of HIV has cause this turn of events, but unfortunately, oral sex does not stop the transmission of HIV. Education is the key. Young people need to understand the risks of sex. This is a moral issue but it is a health issue in an even greater degree. A young person under the age of 22 gets HIV at the rate of 1 per minute of every day of every week of every year in the United States alone.
This discussing needs nationwide attention, not just religious attention. CP you might start a thread about this on the rt.

Answer:

Hairbear,
You might just be right about the round table for a discussion. Can you imagine the fun drivers will have with this over there? But we might just give it a whirl and see.
Good idea.
Update It has been posted on the Round Table. Ride herd on 'em if they get carried away!
Bob CRyder Hataway
CP

Answer:

Bob,
Hairbear said it just fine. As I am in school for Medical Transcribing, I am getting very familiar with this sort of thing. Of course, when I was in school in the '60s, premarital sex was also the norm, but not publicized as it is now.
Since sex education is part of the curriculum in school today, (at least I HOPE it is), then the issues of oral and anal sex should be addressed. It is NOT safe sex by any means!
Will visit the R/T to view later.
Kat

Answer:

I brought this issue to the Round Table and I want to mention it here to.
Do you think that it has anything to do with I did not have sex with that woman ... oral sex is not sex. William Jefferson Clinton, USA, 1998.
Young people have always wanted to push the boundaries and I pushed boundaries when I was young. Would something like a procalmation from the President of the United States be an earth shattering event for me on sex or would I just use it to further my own gain?
Interesting thought.
Bob CRyder Hataway
CP

Answer:

As an adult, I find his sexual escapades stupid, illresponsible, and very imature.
I have been talking with a 15 year old about this subject. She considers what the president did as morally wrong. She feels it is morally wrong for anyone to do as he did.
She also feels that her opinion is in the minority, so to speak. Most of her peers don't believe adultery to be wrong nor oral sex from outside the marriage.
I was surprise about some of the answers she gave me concerning moral values. It seems to me 20 years ago, we had a stronger value system. She also commented that only 50% of her peers are active church-goers.
Now we have talked about the reasons I don't go to church, but, I have always endorsed young people to go and learn the "basics". I believe that to be very, very important. BTW, CP, I do donate to youth church groups in a round about way. I wasn't going to say anything about it but it is such a neat way I think I will. Youth groups have fund raising events such as car washes, all summer long.(usually for church camp) What I do is let them work for their money. I have them wash my car, and since this is by donation (usually $5 or something close) I generally donate a great deal more. The look in their eyes is priceless. I think everyone needs to do this at least once in your life, but I will warn you, it can be addictive.

Answer:

I posted my response to this in the RT Forum, and as you will read.... it shows how much our schools and parents are still lacking in this day and age.
M

Answer:

M,
The Round Table covered the subjects you discussed - keeping the communications lines open, others about education and still those that say we are to go back to the old line moral values of yesterday.
I would like to do all of the above, but I think that they forget over there that the cat is already out of the bag. The problem is here and we have to learn how to deal with it now. There is no going back until we are scared into it with a national epidemic of HIV or STDs.
Church groups have tried True Love Waits and that seemed to help, but nothing is lasting. When it gets loose - it is loose, and we turned it loose ourselves.
The TV programming that we allow, movies, groupies, gangs, street violence, the president - all contribute to the attitude that everything is fair game now including group sex, oral sex and whatever else.
Without sounding doomsdayish, it seems that we are fast forwarding toward doomsday.
Bob CRyder Hataway
CP

Answer:

I don't think it has anything what so ever to do with Bill clinton CP Bob. Oral sex was going on long before any of us were around. He is in the same age category as me and mama echo I too was in high school in the 60's. Back then if a girl did oral sex it was okay and great but if she had regular sex with penetration then she was called easy. Talk about double standard lol! We did not have the diseaese then that are now current.The worse you could get was the clap. the least was crabs. all treatable with no real harm. But in todays world you have killer stds and they are no joke. Kids will be curious as we all were at that age and some will go beyond that to actual sexual relations. no matter how we protest and publicize this it will happen. No power on earth will stop it. It is a fact of nature. Clinton grew up in the 60s also and oral sex was accepted and in his mind he did no wrong. as the results show of the impeachment so did a lot of the other leaders of our country.
Salty Sailor

Answer:

Salty Sailor,
First, I understand what you are saying, but I must point out that two wrongs do not a right make. The two wrongs are thinking that it is OK and second doing it. Having said that, I come from the fifties and it was still taboo in my day for public discussion and it was not until years later that I even heard about oral sex. Guess I have lived a sheltered life.
Granted, once it gets out of the tube, toothpaste is hard to get back in. So we will have to live with what has happened until such time as the STD's and HIV's take such horrendous tolls on our young people that there is a public cry of outrage first to God and then to the people of this country to do something.
But until then ...
Bob CRyder Hataway
CP

Answer:

Bob
What is it about oral sex you don't like? Is it the act itself or the fact that the children in this country aren't being sheltered from reality. Remember with knowledge comes power. The power to say no not today.

Answer:

Steve,
Not knowing exactly where you are coming from, suffice it to say that my answer is ...
... children need to be allowed to be children until the reach a responsible age to handle things such as oral sex. I, personally, feel that 13 and 14 year olds are a bit young at that point to make sensible decisions, all be it, the thought is that they were protecting themselves from HIV and AIDS.
My question is why do kids that age even concern themselves with protection from STDs? Should they not be concerned more with the things that 13 and 14 year olds should be dealing with at that age i e holding hands, getting embarrassed when they catch the other looking at them, etc?
Now as to oral sex. Man has a way of continually pushing the edge of the envelope. He seeks more and more self gratification and soon finds himself involved in more than even oral sex. What is next or can there be a next? The norm become the sadistic practices of some or beastiality in its crudest form.
Sex was meant to be clean and enjoyable within the constraints of marriage. I think everyone will admit that we have gone a bit overboard on that one. We have taken that which was meant for joy and turned it into beastiality. Do we not see animals conducting themselves in this manner? And we turn and fashion ourselves in the same manner - letting animals set the example?
That which was meant for good, we have made into bad as we have done with all of God's gifts to us. He gave us love, we turned it into lust, He gave us joy and we turned it into hate, He gave us kindness and we turned it into unforgiveness, He gave us peace and we turned it into impatience, and He gave us meekness and we turned it into greed.
When we get away from the Author, we leave behind His order as it was intended.
Bob CRyder Hataway
CP

Answer:

Bob
"Sex was meant to be clean and enjoyable within the constraints of marriage."
Aren't clean & enjoyable relative terms. What may be clean & enjoyable to you may be opposite of what I or any one else may find clean & enjoyable. As man evolves to become more intelligent & aware of his/her body, as we have become smarter than we were a 100 yrs. ago, he/she will discover new ways of of drawing pleasure from the human body.
Why Bob, should two people in a serious relationship be deprived of enjoying each others bodies to there fullest capabilities? Whatever they want to do as an expression of love or whatever you care to call it, is not for anyone to question, as long as they are both consenting to it.
And please spare me a sermon on the gay s of the world. I'm talking man & woman here.

Answer:

Steveareno,
If they were truely in a serious relationship then they could wait for marraige. There is no commitment without marraige. You are free to come and go so to speak, as you please. Thus no commitment. What are they going to do when the birth control fails? Is the woman going to have an abortion? Is the man going to split, robbing the child of a 2 parent family?
If your not ready to make the commitment then your not ready for sex......... and teens certianly are not ready. They are neither mature enough or responsible enough to make the decision too have sex.

Answer:

Steve,
This thread is dealing with teen sex in the ages between 13-15 years of age. I agree with Razorback2 that they certainly are not mature enough to handle the relationship or the consequences of their actions.
Regarding what others do in their bedroom as consenting males and females, I will leave that to your conscience and what you can take or leave. I do feel that one must be fully aware of the other partner's needs. In a lot of cases, some partners capitulate for the other when they are not finding any joy at all.
Clean to mean means disease free and enjoyable means the freedom to express themselves without fear of having to match up. It is much better if both people are on the same page. And just because you might enjoy one page is no assurance that you are going to introduce that page to the other with like results. And should you not, you should refrain from going to that page until, if ever, the partner is ready.
What we find today, is that selfish people demand their way and they just might have been exposed to much more than the other. The other just does not find it pleasing, but to match up they try to capitulate. Exposure is not expertise. It can bring expulsion.
Back to the youth of our land, we have got to establish some cummunication lines to get across the danger of the act moreso than just the act. You can see where you have progressed to with your sex life - imagine them starting with oral sex at this young life and where they will be when they are your age.
As I said, when you leave the Author of life out of the equation, you bypass the order of life as intended both in the age factor and the act factor.
Bob CRyder Hataway
CP