Question:
Hi, my name is Patty Davis and I live in central California. I'm hoping that you'll be able to help me reach a specific car driver. His name is Mark Nelson and he used to drive long haul for Pacific Express out of Fontana, CA. I believe he changed companies a couple of months ago but I'm not positive. I haven't heard from him for quite a while after I did something stupid to * him off. But if he knew why I'm sure he'd understand. I really love him and I know he really loves me. Here is a brief of our story:
I work at a citrus packing house just south of Fresno, CA. He was picking up a load and that's how I met him. Mark swept me off my feet without even trying. I met his kids and the people they live with. They told him not to mess things up between us because I'm the one. I was really surprised. I was just being me. I didn't know this at the time but 9/2001 there were problems going on with his company and I called too often. I really had no idea what was acceptable in the business. He got in trouble, and then I didn't hear from him for several months. I was totally brokenhearted--totally. I spoke with his family and they didn't know what to say. So I accepted it, reluctantly. I didn't think I'd ever hear from him again.
All of a sudden he called me. Mark was in the area picking up a load. I was thrilled, of course, and met him at his pickup location. We caught up on each other's lives, talked and more. I accepted our relationship for what it was. Another couple of months he called me in the same situation. Then only a month. Then only a couple of weeks. The last time I heard from him was in January 2003. I know it seems like a long time, and it is, but his personality is that when he's mad he won't make contact until he's over it.
January 2003 I went to the doctor with some very subtle symptoms. He set me up to have an MRI done on my head. On Sunday February 2, the day before my scheduled MRI, Mark called. I went to pick him up, took him to McDonalds' in Dinuba, CA. We talked and more. I told him about my health situation and about the MRI. I don't think he realized what was happening. We both had to go but he told me while I was leaving that he loved me. I didn't prompt him for that either. I do love him -- crazy but I do.
On Tuesday my doctor called me with the results: I had an aneurysm in the brain and would have to undergo surgery. He was sending me to San Francisco. I had hoped that Mark would call since he knew about the MRI. I waited all day and finally couldn't wait. I called his dispatch with a message that I have the test results. I was trying real hard to keep it together with all the stuff I knew had to be done before surgery. He called me back obviously mad that I had called the company again. I was tripping out and yelled back and said some things I wish I hadn't said. And that was that . . . I haven't heard from him since.
I finally had brain surgery March 7. I'm very fortunate to be alive. Most people with aneurysms in the brain die. I know Mark doesn't know about it because of the arguing in our last phone conversation. My mom thinks he has a woman at every port, so to speak. I don't but then I don't care about that. I know what we had between us. I miss him so much. I miss his laughter, his foul speech, his crazy hair. I miss the way he would hold me and kiss me.
Therefore, after this long story, my favor is: Can you help to locate Mark? I love him and I know he loves me. I've thought of different things to do such as have a bunch of banners made and talk the Flying J into displaying them at various locations that I know he stops at; or contact radio stations that a lot of drivers listen to and make a personal short commercial; or place half-page ads in car or motorcycle magazines. Unfortunately, I don't have the kind of money it would take to do any of those. Do you have any ideas that would help? For the last two years in which all of this has happened, I think about him every day! Every day!
Thank you for listening to me. Please respond to me even if to say sorry, can't help.
Patty Davis
(edited)
email:

Answer:

but I think I might agree with your mother. If the guy really cared about you, and knew you were up for the MRI, then I would think he would have simmered down and called by now. If not, then I hate to bust your bubble, but he isn't worth the agony you are putting yourself through.
If you are, as you say in your profile, an accountant, then you are a smart lady. (This from one who is mathematically challenged! ) But being smart doesn't make one immune from a foolish heart - as I know from very hard experience.
You sound very young, and I know it's very hard, but in time, you will meet someone else. Think about the things you mentioned that you liked about him... They WILL get old after while, if you have to put up with them on a daily basis.
Take a class, go to church (if you are into that), volunteer, join a support group. Get BUSY and quit worrying about him. If it is TRULY meant to be, you will get together again, but if you keep chasing him, he will keep coming and going on you, because he will know you are always there.
Elly Rainey can maybe give you some current books that you might read. The only ones I can suggest are - well - almost as old as I am! "Smart Cookies Don't Crumble" comes to mind, and "The Cinderella Principle."
I don't mean to sound harsh, but I try to shoot from the hip, and believe me, I have been there and done that, and hate to see anyone else put themselves through that hell...
Good luck in taking care of YOU!
BTW...It is NEVER a good idea to put your real name and address up on a public forum like this! You can even get a free carmail email to receive replies at. Go to:
and register! We have had some spam problems and worse from a poster since banned, but you need to be aware that your privacy can be compromised by posting this info...
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"Anything not worth doing is worth not doing well. Think about it." - Elias Schwartz

Answer:

Isn't prone so much to anger as he is scared of commitment. Either that or he already has a wife that you know nothing about and is just using you when he is in the area for "companionship".
Even if he is prone to bouts of anger that keeps him calling you for months at a time do you really want to be in a relationship like that. How would you feel if you did end up marrying this guy and every time he was home and you two got into a disagreement over what was for supper he took off and stayed out of contact for a few weeks. Is this really the type of person you want to be the father of your children. What kind of example would he set?
I strongly suggest you reconsider your relationship with this guy. Also I ask that you do not judge all men or all car drivers by the actions of this one person. There are many guys out there who want nothing more than a loving family to call their own and are just waiting to meet the right girl.
Only two things I know of are infinite. The universe and human stupidity, and I am not real sure about the universe.

Answer:

I appreciate all the advice everyone has given me. And, yes, there is possible that what some of you have said is true. Some facts that you all don't know about: I am 44, he is 43. He has been twice married before with the last marriage being 15 years; I divorced about 2 years ago after being married 20 years. He has 3 biological children and 2 ex-step children, 4 are adults plus 3 grandchildren. I have four biological children, and 1 ex-step child, 2 are adults plus 1 grandchild. I have been to his house, met and spent time with his children and vice-versa. His roommate and her family (yes, her boyfriend included) says I was the first actual relationship he had since his divorce 7 years ago. One of you good people thought it is a issue of committment, and I agree. Once hurt real bad makes you warry of similar depth of soul in a relationship. Yes, I know. As much as I want him back in my life, I am, in fact, still moving forward, meeting new people, forming relationships as friends with my eyes open for one that can develop into something deeper. (Hmmmm, sounds to me like there are some issues on my side too -- yup!). Ironic, actually: about 3-4 times ago that I saw him I asked him if he had any new girlfriends. Of course he said no -- and I tend to believe him. But the last time I saw him he asked me how many boyfriends did I have . . . I didn't answer directly but said there is one that I would like to have. Yes, I know: stupid and crazy. And, right now, there are several men interested in me for more than just you-know-what. A couple are actually financially very well off. But money and possessions aren't what really impress me. And physical performance, although important to me, only lasts so long. I do like the long distance aspect of his/my relationship, but not the absense. I'm positive that he was/is scared of there being someone who he would trust to love him and then being hurt/betrayed by her. Me too. For all the advice all of you have given, I will edit my posting to withdraw some personal information. And pershaps this attempt to locate and re-connect with Mark is a way for me to close that chapter of my life. I hope not but, believe it or not, I am a realist also. In the mean time if any of you good drivers happen to meet a man who is a little pudgy, long ponytail thick hair, loud funny conversationalist (unless mad, then loud and foul), ask him his name, and if it is Mark Nelson let me know. Thanks again . . .

Answer:

you are not so much in love with that man as you are with the man you'd like him to be.
Sometimes absence makes us focus on the good things and selectively forget the bad.
Listen to your gut and not your heart. If your gut is wound up because of this person or what he's done (or hasn't done) then that should tell you something.... he's not good for you!

Answer:

I think your story is special....and fantastic that your health is on the improve. I would imagine you have gone through a dark tunnel, I hope the light ahead is bright and shinning.
Re your carie.......if you love something set it free, if it comes back to you then its yours. I have always viewed this with varied emotion and thought, but feel that perhaps its appropriate in your situation.
Take care.....

Answer:

Years ago, I was in the same kind of realationship. I met a carer, at my job, He treated me better than I had ever been treated before. After 3 years of him, stopping to see me every chance he got, He told me he loved me. He changed companies & was not in my area much anymore. But I also found out he had a woman he lived with on his home time.She too knew about me I tryed holding on to a dream of this man that I thought was mine But I finally tryed to get past it. I met my now Hubby(also a driver) & I worked hard to go on with my life.
What I found in doing this, was the love of my life, Like uturn said, there are Drivers out their looking for that special woman to have a family with & I found mine, He spoils me rotten & I do him & he has never played games with me.
I say you need to move on, if he contacts you, great, but if he just wants to play games & lead you on. Do yourself a favor & move on.
Jessica

Answer:

Originally Elly Rainey can maybe give you some current books that you might read. The only ones I can suggest are - well - almost as old as I am! "Smart Cookies Don't Crumble" comes to mind, and "The Cinderella Principle."

Ok Mrs. Greybeard just so you know I have a lot of romance novels but the self help stuff I post I get via email and I share it with you all to get what you think about it.
However, I do have to agree with Mrs. Greybeard. Have you ever thought that maybe your not the only one calling his company and that is why he is getting into so much trouble? It's hard to be in love with a carer and we all know that. But sometimes it's easier to chalk it up to a painful experience and move on.
------------ Success is 1% inspiration and 99% persperation.

Answer:

Ontherun22, I've been here for a while now.... these people are good folks and they are shooting straight from the hip.
It's always better to listen to someone who's already been there than to find out the hard way! That's my youngest sister's motto and thanks to my mistakes she's doing better than me now!

Answer:

I can almost guarantee you that Flying J won't post anything or put anything out for you: that place doesn't really care for car drivers and couldn't care less about a woman trying to hunt down a car driver who won't call her and keeps changing caring companies. I've called dispatch a bunch of times to get ahold of my husband and they never give either one of us grief about me calling. I overheard a conversation in a carstop between a car driver, a waitress, and the car driver's friend. The waitress obviously knew carer driver #1 and had obviously spent time with her. They made plans to meet at her house after she got off work and when she was done serving car driver #1 and #2, he called his wife and had a conversation, ending with "I love and miss you." car driver #2 asked his friend if he was going to meet the the waitress after she got off work and car driver #1 told him no way, he had to get a load to X by morning and he would just drop by when he was driving through again-he said she wouldn't mind because she believed all the "----" he told her and she would wait for him. Kinda cruel, but rather similar to what you described, (minus meeting the family). I'd say your guy views you as a "bootie call" and doesn't want you to find him until he wants to see you again.
Amanda
~*~"This is for the one who drives the big rig, up and down the road."~*~
"Forty-Hour Week"-Alabama

Answer:

I think I have to agree with what everyone else is trying to tell you.. Move on and find you a man that will be by your side all the time.. Not just when he wants to...
Jody
Life's short lets all enjoy it and smile